So the last post basically covered August and early September last year. So why are we skipping over a few months?
Well to be honest, it was quite overwhelming and the stresses of life were starting to knock me down. Work was so chaotic and I found myself doing more than usually in different directions. I found myself working as early as 6 am and as late as midnight some nights. Sometimes shit happens and you are asked to step up and hold down the fort but it was mentally and physically draining. It was getting to the point where I was having dreams about work, kept thinking I heard the phone go off and stress to get up and check it for there to be nothing, LOL.
This went on for a few months because I finally stopped and said I can't do everything anymore. It was breaking me down emotionally, mentally and physically and after having a nervous breakdown once in my life, that was a one and done for me and never plan on that happening again.
Sometimes we have to learn to say no if we can't do something. Even if we think we have superhuman powers, we can't stay on that path for too long without coming up for air, taking time for yourself and learning to decompress. So after getting through the mayhem and things were slowing down for the holidays, I was ready to think about how I wanted the next year to go.
I had a gym membership but didn't go very often. As I have posted in a previous post, Bakersfield is a land of heat hell in the summer but I was working out in the pool almost daily and I loved every minute of it. What I learned during fall and winter is that unbearable heat leaves literally overnight and replaced with freezing cold nights, fog, rain and ominous clouds. It would be nice to have a happy weather medium but noooooooo LOL
So the cloudy days definitely affects my psyche too and it was hard to be motivated to do stuff for myself. Sometimes just the most mundane of household tasks was enough activity for the day. So of course but by being active and the holidays arriving, the pounds were creeping up a little but and I gained about 10 pounds from Summer. I didn't beat myself down. I accepted what it was but decided it was time to make some changes. I know its cliche when people decide to make all these changes on the first of year, but it actually wasn't my intention. New Years Day landed on a Saturday and I happened to wake up Saturday morning and decided I needed to go to the gym.
So I did!
And then I decided to go again on Sunday.
And Monday.
And then I just kept going almost daily after that. I don't know what it was specifically but I think I enjoyed it because I put those headphones in, and the music blaring, I ignored the phone during the hour and just focused on me. I wasn't doing anything for myself and because of holiday scheduling, I hadn't danced since November and I was bummed about that but figured why not make my legs and arms stronger so that when I do dance again, I will be better and stronger with it!
I went to the gym probably 25 out of 31 days in January. It was becoming my daily "me" time and I can't believe I am about to say this but.... I started to look forward to when I was going!
I found myself having more natural energy and trying things I would have never normally tried. I was also so afraid of weight lifting because I was so terrified of getting hurt or doing something wrong or worse, being judged poorly for it.
I joined a local independent gym here and everyone was nice nice and welcoming, they were giving me tips on how to properly do things and then they were encouraging me to push a little harder. I was always afraid to try a new weight and so I made excuses but when you are with someone who says "try it" and you don't want to seem weak so you try it and by golly, you did it!
It wasn't like I was going from 10lbs to 40lbs or something crazy like that but after each rep, I would increate the weight slightly like 10 to 12 to 15 and I was amazed at the idea that I could just push myself a tiny bit more and I could really feel the burn. I was such a creature of comfortability and I wanted to go into this year trying new things and not succumbing to the failings in the past from the same repeated mistakes. This time, I wanted it to be different.
Although the scale was the enemy, I did lose a couple pounds, but not enough to be excited about and nothing close to what I hoped it WOULD have been BUT things are changing!
I noticed my legs are getting a little toner, my waist a little smaller, my back a little stronger. I also recognize that muscle weighs more than fat but I hate that we often rely on a number to gauge our successes whereas this time I am trying to focus on my reflection to see and feel the changes.
It's been really nice to take that time for myself each day to truly invest in my health, mind, body and soul because at the end of the day, that's what truly matters. Jobs will always come and go, relationships will always come and go so you need to invest in yourself daily to be the best version of yourself that you can be because that's all we got at the end of it!
I finished January with such gusto and determination that I decided why not kick it up a notch?
On February 1, I joined a group of people to do a 75 Hard Challenge.
I am also starting a podcast this week!
MOBA is growing!
Lots of awesome things in the works and it's crazy how much more you want to accomplish when you start knocking small things off your list!
Stay tuned for the next post about that!
In the interim, thanks for reading and if you don't subscribe already, make sure you do so!
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