Metaphorical Homelessness

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that" - Robin Williams

I have vivid memories of Friday nights being spent going to dinner with the family and then taking a trip to the local VHS rental place. (VHS tape is a big rectangle cassete where we had to pay to watch movies at home and then bring it back. You know, before internet, Netflix and cell phones LOL) My sibling and I each got to pick one movie for the weekend and it was often repeats each week of the same ones over and over again. Clue, Wrestle Mania, Best of the Best and my favorite often weekly choice was "Comic Relief" specials with Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldbery and Billy Crystal.

I loved stand up comedy. Always have, from Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett to the topic shocking ramblings of Carlin and Lenny Bruce and everyone in between.

Comic Relief specials were raising money for the homeless and bringing together the top names of comedy to make us laugh while nshedding light to a hard topic like homelessess. I was so drawn to it. I wanted to heal the homeless. The first poem/song I ever wrote was for homeless to raise my own awareness. (Kinda hard to raise awareness when you never shared it with anyone, LOL).

I felt like it was a calling to find and use humor and stage status as a way to change the future the same way that they were changing the present.

I have found that as the decades have passed in my own life, the culture of homelessness has almost become a metaphor for how we treat humanity as a whole. The stigmas we place on individuals who we feel fit outside the societal norms based on single perceptions.

Homeless people are lazy. They are dirty. They are on drugs. They are ruining our city.

Broadening out into my own struggles with obesity my whole life, there were a ton of assumptions. We are too were lazy, disgusting, should just put the fork down, etc.

Broadening out even further into races, religions, cultures, genders, social beliefs, political views, educational levels, etc, we can easily come up with stereotypical assumptions based on single factors of a human being.

Every one of us has multiple masks that we wear on a daily basis that is ever changing depending on our surroundings, but we are judged and criticized most harshly on one element of our being at a time.

Some dirty clothes and lack of hygiene supplies must mean evil.

Some shorts that are a little too tight with jiggly thighs must mean evil.

A blue or red check mark on a ballot must mean evil.

Shades of skin must mean evil.

The name and representation of a higher power must mean evil.

The sexual orientation of the person next to you behind a closed door must mean evil.

Imagine what any of these criticisms over prolonged periods of time can do to our mindset? Our self efficacy? Our self image? Our self value? Our self perception? Basing our value on the words and opinions of others.

We all do it to some degree sadly. It is sadly ingrained in the dna of humanity since the beginning of time. Religious persecutions to political exile and societal divides over opinions. We see something we don't understand or agree with and all of a sudden that other side of the conversation becomes an outcast, now socially homeless. We treat them as dirty, lazy and no longer worthy to occupy our streets or our breathing space.

Then you have those who try to bridge the connecting gaps of humanity one person at a time. One conversation at a time. One voice at a time. You try to appeal to everyone in their versions and find ways to find common ground. You meet them and conform to their level to resonate in a way not done before.

And in return, you become detached from people around you and you don't even know who you are anymore. You are merely a figment of others' perceptions and your job is now to exist in their perception of you. The funny one, the rational one, the wise one, the strong one, the accomplished one, etc.

When we see that homeless person on the street, there is a whole story there that has never been told. A silent struggle never revealed because their presence alone is burdening to others.

Same with that person we view as having it all together. There is a silent struggle never revealed because they feel the burden of not living up to the expectations and suffer quietly when no one is around.

So if we ignore the physical imperfections of someone, do we even realize the impact of how we ignore the internal imperfections of people as well?

Physical homeless lacks the received compassion towards help in the basic necessities of survival.

Social homeless lacks the received compassion towards help in the feelings of acceptance and belonging.

Emotional homeless lacks the received compassion towards help in the feelings of love, compassion, worthiness and empathy.

Mentally homeless lacks the received compassion towards help in the feelings of security, strength and mindset.

So, how do we combat this humanitarian plague that has lasted for centuries now?

Quitely simply?

Stop being an asshole.

Stop creating entire profiles on people based on a single facet of their being or your perception of their being.

Smile at everyone equally.

If you are in a position to offer resources to someone hurting, offer it without expectations of reciprocation. Resources doesn't equate to monetary gifts. It could be small physical items, your time or just an ear.

A 10 minute conversation with a "homeless" stranger who is hurting can change their life forever.

I know for me personally, when Robin Williams passed away from depression, I felt that in my core. Obviously I am not a famous comedian who has touched millions, but I felt the pain of making your life's mission helping everyone around you, often at the expense of your own peace and centering.

There is a way to find balance.

I am learning to protect my peace from over exertion on those who take too much from me, but at the same time, staying true to my vision as that girl who was up all night watching those comic relief stand ups.

I don't want my final curtain to be the same stage exit as Robin and there have been a few times in my past where I came pretty close.

I know what it is like to feel homeless in different metaphorical avenues. I don't want anyone to feel that way.

But, I will say in the emotional purgatories of the last two years, I have delved deeper into who I am, who I want to be and who I am destined to be.

In my own self reflection, I had to treat myself as the homeless woman on the street and approach her from a detached version of myself, extracted from my own reality, in order to help her.

She is still healing but she has learned that sometimes the darkest of hours can be re-lit with the simpliest of changes.

A happy wave to an oncoming car.

A nod at the supermarket when eyes meet in passing.

A comment on a social media post to someone you don't know.

A smile to a stranger.

Asking someone how their day is.

Appraching someone who seems like they need someone to listen to them.

Changing my perception futher to those around me, helps bring me out of my own purgatory and have faith in the potential beauty of humanity as a whole to finally bridge those gaps lost in the societal langage barriers.

So the next time you see a "homeless" person, I ask that even if you don't want to approach them, try for once to view them through a different lens and see if you can create a different perspective of them moving forward.

In changing your observation and perception of the image in front of you, you might just very well change your life. As your life changes, you insprie others to change their life and you snowball from the foundation upwards.

Who knows, maybe we actually can change the world, one perception at a time.

Namaste Bishes.

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." - Robin Williams